« thoughts | Main | not fair »
February 05, 2009
the why
I believe that online social networks have their place. It's fun and good for maintaining contact to lots of people. However, it's not a substitute for real relationship maintenance. First, the site is not always what it seems. The site is not on your network and any information you put there, has become also a third party's data. Facebook has every right to mine whatever information you put online.
Second, Facebook makes us more selfish. It becomes about how we will or will not maintain our relationships. We no longer are interested in deeper relationships but find out only the superficial information about our friends. It's about our time. I mean who really cares that you came home late today. Instead, we don't know about what the state of mind our friends might be in due to an event that she or he is too embarassed to broadcast online. Instead, we hide ourselves behind catchy, witty statuses. We lose our ability to care and enjoy our friendships.
Do I know more people because of Facebook? No. Does it play a part in deepening my friendships? No. I leave getting to know my friends to the hard effort of knowing them face-to-face.
Posted by azileretsis at February 5, 2009 06:49 PM
Comments
The absolutes you put forward seem kinda harsh. Sure, someone can become more shallow or narcissistic because of a social networking site like facebook. Yes, someone could lose their ability to develop meaningful relationships with others. But I wouldn't go so far as to say that having Facebook always means you're hiding and crippled to relationships.
As you say, social networks have their place. I have really enjoyed connecting with past friends that had moved away, or getting to know people who I have a single encounter with on a deeper level. Yes, Facebook has actually encouraged a more meaningful relationship with previous co-workers and colleagues that I otherwise would have not kept track of.
Just because it doesn't provide much value to you doesn't mean others can't use it responsibly to enhance their existing friendships and develop new friendships.
Posted by: Nathan ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.azileretsis.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at February 6, 2009 09:28 PM
Isn't it odd that it is a way for coworkers to know each other better? Like, spending eight hours a day isn't enough to get to know someone.
I do believe Facebook has its place. It's just not going to keep me from developing real relationships.
Posted by: azileretsis at February 10, 2009 01:23 PM
Well, I was referring to former co-workers specifically, from previous jobs. One of my former co-workers, for instance, has moved to the deep south to get her degree, and the only way we can keep in touch is by our respective online presences.
At work, we never really got a chance to have meaningful conversations because we actually had work to do. Ya, there was the occasional Scrabble game after work, but that's about it. But even though our co-working ended seven years ago, we have been able to keep in touch and continue our friendship, maybe even becoming better friends through our various conversations over the years.
It's certainly better than letting a friendship die due to different career paths.
Posted by: Nathan at February 12, 2009 12:02 PM
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)